when you surprise a bitch in spanish
I remember in fourth grade this guy Ryan proposed to me and I said yes and the next day he gave me a ring but I called it fake and threw it across the street and he never found it and it was apparently his grandmas ring with actual diamonds and anyway the moral of the story is I was a fucking bitch
this should be a trojan ad
So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.
I was like “Aye yo, no homo, but ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.
Then I was like “No.”
I wish spongebob would leave me alone so I could play my clarinet in peace
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight